“How you do anything is how you do everything” – Martha Beck (but, I heard Ellen Minzner say it at a National Honor Society induction and I never thought the same way again.)

Something big happened a few weeks ago while I was in Ann Arbor with our family to see our eldest daughter, Zoe, graduate from the University of Michigan. And, no, I am not talking about our daughter’s graduation.

Of course, Zoe’s graduation was a huge deal and we could not be prouder of her accomplishment. This event was the culmination of four years of study; learning how to navigate being a college student during a global pandemic; making independent choices as a young adult; and building life-long friendships.

When I look back on that particular weekend, I will always hold dear the memories of Zoe’s graduation itself. But, I will also think about the impact of reading one inconspicuous email, buried in my inbox, that reinforced to me the idea that the little things in life can make a huge difference.

I discovered the email as our family was getting ready to leave Ann Arbor on Sunday morning. Zoe wanted to go to Target to get several things prior to moving out of her house. While she ran into the store for a few minutes, the rest of the family waited in the rental car. I decided to check my emails and noticed that someone had reached out to me through my website contact button. I opened it and immediately was taken back thirty-plus years to my college days.

The email was from an individual who I had bumped into one day in the “stacks” of the music library at Miami of Ohio during the fall of my junior year. He was looking for a piano piece that he was bound and determined to learn, and I guess that we struck up a conversation as I was looking for some piece of music that I needed. I honestly can say that I don’t remember the conversation at all.

He goes on to tell me that during our exchange, I told him that one of the piano teachers in the music department had openings for lessons, even though it was already the middle of the first week of the semester. This led him to talk his way into studying with said teacher, even though he had no piece with which to audition. After another discussion with me the following week, (which again, I confess that I do not remember), he dropped his economics, finance and accounting classes (he was almost finished with two business majors and an English Literature major) and took on a Music Composition major.

The line in his email that was most profound came next, “and that [decision] led me to quite literally every other go-for-broke decision I’ve made since then. I am certain that you have no idea how that chance meeting with you, and your encouragement, profoundly changed the course of my life.”

Wow. Just, Wow.

Remember, I am sitting in a rental car almost 33 years after this conversation occurred, waiting for my daughter to come out of Target. I am speechless. How does something as “little” as an innocent conversation make such a “BIG” difference in someone’s life? And one that I don’t even remember having had? It is remarkable and I can’t express how appreciative I am that this person reached out to me to tell me the impact that my words had on his life.

This got me thinking. These little things that can make a big impact happen all of the time. Often, we don’t even know that they are occurring because they are seemingly mundane, or trivial, or “little”.

This has happened to me on more than one occasion, but a good example involved an outwardly unimportant interaction with Zoe. When Zoe turned nine years old, she came downstairs and proudly announced to me and her dad that she was “nine years old and halfway out the door!” I left my almost fifteen year consulting career one month later based heavily on her exclamation. She could have never known the impact that one sentence would have on me as her mom. After all, she was only eight years old. But, her few innocent words that day changed the way I looked at time with my children, my goals for my career and my life. It made me think hard about where I wanted to focus my time. I have never regretted my decision since.

I will end with a little decision made over twenty-five years ago that has led to a big tradition in our family. It happened when Dmitry was a surgical resident and he had no time to do anything else other than work a ridiculous amount, eat and sleep. Our anniversary snuck up on him and he realized that he had not gotten me anything. The hospital gift shop was closed and Dmitry thought he was screwed. On his way home he stopped to fill up his car with gas. He noticed a bucket filled with small bouquets of flowers on the ground. He grabbed me one and gave me these “gas station flowers” for our anniversary.

Ever since that day, I get “gas station flowers” for any major celebration instead of expensive arrangements. I love them and can’t wait to see what each display will look like! Who would have guessed that a last minute purchase based on necessity would become an enduring and endearing gift?

What is the take away from all of these stories? First – we need to be ready at all times to own how our actions and words make an impact on others. Second – how we do the little things is just as important as how we do the big things. Third – at any moment, something that may seem small to someone else can have a seismic effect on you. So, be ready and present and open to all that the world has to give you, no matter what the size.

Here is to all of the little things!