Valentine’s Day is for the dogs and gas station flowers Blog #5
Feb 13, 2023 by Amy Elizabeth Matuza
“Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi
My husband, Dmitry, is not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. In fact, he is not a big fan of any of the so called “Hallmark Holidays” like Sweetest Day, Daughter/Son Day, Grandparents Day, Bosses Day, Administrative Professionals Day, etc. He believes that every day should be all of these things if you truly care about the subjects of these holidays. Additionally, he also believes that these days are just a huge capitalistic ploy by greeting card/flower/chocolate companies to make gobs of money.
And he is not wrong. For instance, let’s take Valentine’s Day. According to my local NPR station’s weekly newsletter, "Flower shops, chocolatiers and restaurants are shoring up their stockpiles for the annual run on gifts that (...) will generate more than $25 billion in consumer spending...Apparently, the gift-giving will go beyond spouses, partners and lovers to friends, co-workers, teachers…and even pets.”
Wow. $25 billion on gifts for one day. I can’t even wrap my head around that. So, I googled what that amount could buy, just to put it into perspective. That is the equivalent of hiring 50,000 teachers for ten years at $50,000 a year. It is also the equivalent of building 294,000 Habitat for Humanity homes at an average cost of $85,000. $25 billion could provide laptops to 35.7 million people at a cost of $700 each. Again, Wow.
Aside from the enormous amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day, another aspect of the holiday that can be tricky for many is the fact that much of the focus is on “romantic” love. But, what if you are single? Or just suffered a bad breakup? Or recently experienced the death of a spouse, partner or loved one? Or are unhappy in your current relationship? Or maybe you are feeling lonely? This particular holiday can be difficult for many people for a variety of reasons.
OK-enough with the cynicism and “Debbie Downer” comments. Lots of people love Valentine’s Day. I like it well enough as far as holidays go, mostly because it breaks up the dearth of food giving holidays between Christmas and Easter, and I like both flowers and chocolates. But, if I am being honest, I do feel some pressure to give gifts to those closest to me so that I don’t look like a cheap putz when everyone else does. So, taking all of these things into consideration, I have a potential solution for everyone and anyone to enjoy Valentine’s Day once and for all.
Act like a dog.
I’m not kidding. Let’s look at the intent of the modern holiday. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all those we love and appreciate, including family members, friends, romantic partners, pets, teachers, coaches, colleagues, etc. It is a day to let the people who are special to you know it. It is a day about living from your heart and leaning into love. It is about forgiving and forgetting. It is about the little things and making others feel special: sending a text to a person who has made a positive impact on you; leaving a note on a colleague’s desk; giving your pet an extra treat; calling your parent/sibling/grandparent and telling them you love them; offering to drive to or from a kid’s activity to give another parent a break. If Jerry Maguire was promoting the day, the theme would be “SHOW ME THE LOVE!” – with everyone participating.
To most dogs (I realize there are exceptions) – EVERY day is like Valentine’s Day with “their humans”. I see this in our eleven-month-old puppy, Elvis. No matter what kind of trouble Elvis may have gotten into the day before (or five minutes ago) that incurred my wrath and some very sternly delivered admonishments, he seems to forget said event pretty much immediately. He may have run off across a huge field to greet another puppy while I was screaming madly (and futilely) for him to come; or eaten a throw blanket out of boredom while I was working in the other room; or stolen a cupcake off of the counter because it smelled good and he is tall enough now to reach it; or chewed on a leg of one of our kitchen chairs...I think you get the point. Somehow, he is at my feet with a toy, ready to play. His tail will be wagging maniacally with no recollection of any kerfuffle that may have taken place. He is always ready to “Show Me the Love!”
To be fair, I can’t leave out all of the things that I do that could make him mad. I can leave him for hours in his crate when I have to go out to do “human” activities. I can miss his meal time because I get stuck in traffic and am late. I can ignore him because I have something else that I need to do. I can forget that I put him outside to do his thing and realize that he has been sitting at the back deck slider for an hour patiently waiting to be let back in. The crazy thing is that no matter what I do, or don’t, or forget to do, or how bad of a parent I am, that silly puppy unconditionally loves me. After each of these events, and even after yelling at him for one of the aforementioned infractions, all Elvis wants is for me to give him is what he always shows me – love.
I think we can learn a lot from Elvis. If he can show me unconditional love like this every day of the year, maybe we all can try acting this way on just one, as a start? OK, maybe you don’t lick your colleague’s face to show your appreciation for a job well done, but you can say “thank you” and wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you don’t scratch one of your In-law’s belly, but you might say that you appreciate something about them. Buy that silly eyelash curler that you think is unnecessary for your teenage daughter – because you love her. Celebrate the people that you appreciate. Lean into those you love. Live from your heart on Valentine’s Day with everyone around you.
Back to Dmitry and how he has learned to “act like a dog” when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Specifically, with me.
I tend to think a lot like he does about Valentine’s Day – especially with the part that we should treat those that we love and appreciate well every day of the year. But, I do like getting and giving gifts on Valentine’s Day. After being together for just over 34 years – he is keenly aware of this fact. We have a unique and kind of funny Valentine’s tradition that stems from one of our early years together and a compromise between our two points of view.
Dmitry and I met in college when we were nineteen years old. Neither of us had much money, a financial position which continued throughout both of our graduate school years. One Valentine’s Day while Dmitry was in medical school, he had to work late at the hospital and we were unable to celebrate Valentine’s Day together. I had bought him a card for Valentine’s Day to give to him when he got off of his shift at the hospital. (I love giving old school paper cards.) Knowing me, I had most likely gotten him some cheap box of chocolates from the drug store.
By the time Dmitry got off of his shift, it was after 11pm and I had gone to bed. When he came home, he woke me up, gave me a kiss and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I brought you flowers!” I could not believe that he was able to get me flowers because it was so late and everything was closed. When I asked him where he got the flowers, he said, “I got them at the gas station down the street – they were open.” To this day, one of my favorite things in the world to receive for Valentine’s Day is “Gas Station Flowers”. They work for the both of us - I get a gift on Valentine’s Day and Dmitry only pays nominally into the Hallmark capitalistic machine.
I wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. Act like Elvis. Give your own version of “Gas Station Flowers” to those that you love and appreciate. Oh, and don’t forget the dog.
My husband, Dmitry, is not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. In fact, he is not a big fan of any of the so called “Hallmark Holidays” like Sweetest Day, Daughter/Son Day, Grandparents Day, Bosses Day, Administrative Professionals Day, etc. He believes that every day should be all of these things if you truly care about the subjects of these holidays. Additionally, he also believes that these days are just a huge capitalistic ploy by greeting card/flower/chocolate companies to make gobs of money.
And he is not wrong. For instance, let’s take Valentine’s Day. According to my local NPR station’s weekly newsletter, "Flower shops, chocolatiers and restaurants are shoring up their stockpiles for the annual run on gifts that (...) will generate more than $25 billion in consumer spending...Apparently, the gift-giving will go beyond spouses, partners and lovers to friends, co-workers, teachers…and even pets.”
Wow. $25 billion on gifts for one day. I can’t even wrap my head around that. So, I googled what that amount could buy, just to put it into perspective. That is the equivalent of hiring 50,000 teachers for ten years at $50,000 a year. It is also the equivalent of building 294,000 Habitat for Humanity homes at an average cost of $85,000. $25 billion could provide laptops to 35.7 million people at a cost of $700 each. Again, Wow.
Aside from the enormous amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day, another aspect of the holiday that can be tricky for many is the fact that much of the focus is on “romantic” love. But, what if you are single? Or just suffered a bad breakup? Or recently experienced the death of a spouse, partner or loved one? Or are unhappy in your current relationship? Or maybe you are feeling lonely? This particular holiday can be difficult for many people for a variety of reasons.
OK-enough with the cynicism and “Debbie Downer” comments. Lots of people love Valentine’s Day. I like it well enough as far as holidays go, mostly because it breaks up the dearth of food giving holidays between Christmas and Easter, and I like both flowers and chocolates. But, if I am being honest, I do feel some pressure to give gifts to those closest to me so that I don’t look like a cheap putz when everyone else does. So, taking all of these things into consideration, I have a potential solution for everyone and anyone to enjoy Valentine’s Day once and for all.
Act like a dog.
I’m not kidding. Let’s look at the intent of the modern holiday. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all those we love and appreciate, including family members, friends, romantic partners, pets, teachers, coaches, colleagues, etc. It is a day to let the people who are special to you know it. It is a day about living from your heart and leaning into love. It is about forgiving and forgetting. It is about the little things and making others feel special: sending a text to a person who has made a positive impact on you; leaving a note on a colleague’s desk; giving your pet an extra treat; calling your parent/sibling/grandparent and telling them you love them; offering to drive to or from a kid’s activity to give another parent a break. If Jerry Maguire was promoting the day, the theme would be “SHOW ME THE LOVE!” – with everyone participating.
To most dogs (I realize there are exceptions) – EVERY day is like Valentine’s Day with “their humans”. I see this in our eleven-month-old puppy, Elvis. No matter what kind of trouble Elvis may have gotten into the day before (or five minutes ago) that incurred my wrath and some very sternly delivered admonishments, he seems to forget said event pretty much immediately. He may have run off across a huge field to greet another puppy while I was screaming madly (and futilely) for him to come; or eaten a throw blanket out of boredom while I was working in the other room; or stolen a cupcake off of the counter because it smelled good and he is tall enough now to reach it; or chewed on a leg of one of our kitchen chairs...I think you get the point. Somehow, he is at my feet with a toy, ready to play. His tail will be wagging maniacally with no recollection of any kerfuffle that may have taken place. He is always ready to “Show Me the Love!”
To be fair, I can’t leave out all of the things that I do that could make him mad. I can leave him for hours in his crate when I have to go out to do “human” activities. I can miss his meal time because I get stuck in traffic and am late. I can ignore him because I have something else that I need to do. I can forget that I put him outside to do his thing and realize that he has been sitting at the back deck slider for an hour patiently waiting to be let back in. The crazy thing is that no matter what I do, or don’t, or forget to do, or how bad of a parent I am, that silly puppy unconditionally loves me. After each of these events, and even after yelling at him for one of the aforementioned infractions, all Elvis wants is for me to give him is what he always shows me – love.
I think we can learn a lot from Elvis. If he can show me unconditional love like this every day of the year, maybe we all can try acting this way on just one, as a start? OK, maybe you don’t lick your colleague’s face to show your appreciation for a job well done, but you can say “thank you” and wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you don’t scratch one of your In-law’s belly, but you might say that you appreciate something about them. Buy that silly eyelash curler that you think is unnecessary for your teenage daughter – because you love her. Celebrate the people that you appreciate. Lean into those you love. Live from your heart on Valentine’s Day with everyone around you.
Back to Dmitry and how he has learned to “act like a dog” when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Specifically, with me.
I tend to think a lot like he does about Valentine’s Day – especially with the part that we should treat those that we love and appreciate well every day of the year. But, I do like getting and giving gifts on Valentine’s Day. After being together for just over 34 years – he is keenly aware of this fact. We have a unique and kind of funny Valentine’s tradition that stems from one of our early years together and a compromise between our two points of view.
Dmitry and I met in college when we were nineteen years old. Neither of us had much money, a financial position which continued throughout both of our graduate school years. One Valentine’s Day while Dmitry was in medical school, he had to work late at the hospital and we were unable to celebrate Valentine’s Day together. I had bought him a card for Valentine’s Day to give to him when he got off of his shift at the hospital. (I love giving old school paper cards.) Knowing me, I had most likely gotten him some cheap box of chocolates from the drug store.
By the time Dmitry got off of his shift, it was after 11pm and I had gone to bed. When he came home, he woke me up, gave me a kiss and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I brought you flowers!” I could not believe that he was able to get me flowers because it was so late and everything was closed. When I asked him where he got the flowers, he said, “I got them at the gas station down the street – they were open.” To this day, one of my favorite things in the world to receive for Valentine’s Day is “Gas Station Flowers”. They work for the both of us - I get a gift on Valentine’s Day and Dmitry only pays nominally into the Hallmark capitalistic machine.
I wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. Act like Elvis. Give your own version of “Gas Station Flowers” to those that you love and appreciate. Oh, and don’t forget the dog.
