“Finding balance is all about successfully navigating change.” – author unknown, but they were really smart

Growing up, my favorite holiday was Christmas – hands down! Somehow my parents made it look so easy. My dad would take us to get a Christmas tree that we would set up on our three-season porch and decorate together in our winter snow gear, freezing our butts off. He would then string up the old school big colored lights outside over the front bushes and put up this wooden set of Christmas Caroler snowmen that were lit up for all of the passing cars to see. (They were slightly creepy and kind of remind me of the Dementors from Harry Potter with their black circled open mouths.) My mom loved to do ceramics and made one of those 12-inch-tall green Christmas trees with little colored lights along with many other holiday knickknacks which were scattered throughout our house. I still have many of them to this day.

Mom and I would make fudge, seven-layer bars, buckeyes (peanut butter balls covered in chocolate – a must for an Ohioan!) and peanut brittle. We would then put it all into small Ziplock bags and fill baskets up to deliver to friends and neighbors. We would head to Christmas Eve service, watch movies in our pajamas, read through piles of Christmas cards and drink hot chocolate and eggnog (well – the adults drank the eggnog – I thought it was gross). On Christmas morning, the presents would all magically appear from Santa and we three kids would first empty out our stockings and then tear open the gifts as quickly as we could to start playing with our new toys. As a kid, I pretty much thought that Christmas was the best time of the year. It was perfect in pretty much every way.

Then I grew up.

While I still love Christmas and it is still my favorite holiday, I realize that being on the adult side of it is far different for me than it was as a kid. I know, I know – Duh! Everybody knows that. Somehow I never realized as a kid that one had to actually write and send the Christmas cards that showed up at our house. If you decide to do a family picture (another blog entirely), there is the scheduling of the session, fighting over what to wear and more fighting over which pose to choose. There are a gazillion trips to the store for everything from preparing for the holiday meal, to baking for friends and family, to picking up gifts for every person in your life (you will ultimately forget one or two and have to go back at the 11^th hour for a box of chocolates or some such thing). If you travel, there is the preparation, planning and packing. If you host, there is the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Oh, and the wrapping. Dear God – the endless wrapping...Throw in a job, in-laws, kids coming home from college, daily life stressors, sick family members, loved ones who have passed away who won’t be with you this year, and the season can become an all-out sprint to just survive. How can we find a balance and enjoy all of the goodness that the holiday season has to offer when we are dealing with all of the aforementioned?

Enter the Japanese concept of Ma. Ma can be described as a pause in time. It is also described as an interval or period of emptiness in space; a gap between one thing and another; or as a pause within movement or flow. It is like the space between something. I guess for me it reminds me of a momentary “timeout” or a conscious “take a deep breath” moment. So much of the focus during this season is on frenetic “doing” instead of “pausing” to appreciate what is special. The focus of Ma is on the “not” doing. We get our panties so tied up in a bunch over going at warp speed to get everything done that we don’t enjoy the moment to moment little special things that might be happening right in front of us. My grandma tried to instill this concept in me years ago by introducing me to the idea that life was about the journey and not the destination. If you focus solely on the destination, you will miss the ride entirely. Stop. Pause. Breathe. Be present. Find balance between the hustle and bustle and the beauty of the season by stopping momentarily. It will help you navigate the ever-changing demands of your time and keep you focused on the now.

In 1983, a new movie came out for the holidays, “A Christmas Story”. It was filmed in Cleveland (25 minutes north from my childhood home) and it was so much fun to see many familiar landmarks from our local big city. It became an instant classic in our house and if you have never seen it, you most definitely should watch it. It is all about the craziness of the holiday season through the eyes of a young boy who just wants one thing in life – a Red Ryder bb gun. In the movie, the dad wins a prize for completing a series of puzzles in the newspaper. It is deemed a “Major Award” and the dad can’t wait for it to arrive. When it does, it turns out to be a lascivious looking leg lamp – complete with fishnet stockings, high heels and fringe on the lampshade. (We actually got my dad one for Christmas one year.) The dad in the movie is completely in love with it calling it “indescribably beautiful”. His joy is effusive! His wife’s is not so much. The entire movie is one series of crazy events after another up to and through Christmas day.

Near the end of the movie, there is a scene after Christmas day has come to a close, where the mom and dad sit quietly together in their dark living room. The only light comes from the Christmas tree lights as they look out into the night watching the snowflakes fall from the sky. Silent Night is being played on the record player. The dad hands the mom a drink and they clink glasses and put their arms around each other and appreciate the beauty in front of them. This is their special moment. This is their Ma. This is their pause. To me, this looks like peace.

Here is to all of us finding a little peace and our own special “moment” during this holiday season. Happy New Year!