“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” – Lao Tzu

What is your dream?

Most everyone has one - maybe even several. Dreams can range from completely out of reach (like me wanting to be an Olympic gymnast but not being able to land a back handspring on the beam because of my scoliosis, sadly dashing my aspiration by age ten); to magical (like always wishing that I could fly – squashed for obvious reasons); to seemingly unattainable (due to the sheer amount of work, knowledge, skill or effort required to achieve them). It is this last group that I would like to focus on because I think that many of us need a change in perspective when it comes to our attitudes towards fulfilling our dreams.

Here is an example from my own family. As a parent of two college age children and one high schooler, I do a fair amount of talking with my kids about their futures. My eldest daughter, Zoe, is a senior in college and dreams of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. If you know anything about the process of becoming a doctor you know that it is extremely competitive and is an enormous commitment of time, money and studying. A typical path includes four years of college, four years of medical school and then a residency ranging from three to five years. Many doctors then do a one or two-year fellowship in a specialty. Essentially, you are committing to somewhere between eleven to fifteen years of your life towards the pursuit of this career. You will rarely sleep, rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt (unless you are independently wealthy, which Zoe is not...), make very little money during your training and hope that you have the grit and endurance to see your crazy dream to fruition.

Immediately, Zoe’s litany of doubts begin. What if I bomb my entrance exam? What if I don’t get in? What if I am not smart enough? What if I decide I don’t like medicine? What if I fail? Maybe I should just try something else? The list of doubts is eternal.

Why do we do this to ourselves? We often give up on a dream before we ever even begin to chase it due to sheer overwhelm. We focus on the end game of achieving whatever our dream is and think that we will never in a million years be able to get there because of all of the obstacles in our way. What if we focused on one step at a time instead of facing the enormity of the entire journey? I mean, what if Zoe just concentrated on studying for and taking the entrance exam for medical school and seeing what happens? If she gets a crappy score, then maybe she looks at a different path for her future. But, what if she does well? She would then be one step closer to her dream. By taking small steps towards a goal, you allow yourself to mentally prepare for bite-sized challenges and face them. With each successful stride that you take, you inch closer and closer to your dream.

For me, I have always dreamed about writing a book that I could share with the world. Thankfully, I was utterly ignorant of the entire process – from the actual “how to” of writing it, to obtaining an agent (I failed), to finding a publisher (I got lucky), and lastly attempting to market my book on my own through various tactics (most of which I am teaching myself or having my kids teach me). If I had known then what I know now about how much work I would have to put in, I may never have done it. Fortunately, I made myself little goals over time like deciding on which of my journal stories I wanted to use in my book; committing to writing one story a week; editing fifty pages a week; learning how to build a website; or writing two query letters a week to potential agents or publishers. The list of little goals is endless and I keep learning new things every day which require new additions to my list. My book took me twenty years to write and publish for a reason. It was a gigantic task for me to take on, but, with each little step that I take, I get closer to fulfilling my dream.

Think about this. What would you say if I challenged you to walk 5,000 miles? This distance is roughly like walking across the US and back again from the east coast to the west coast. Your initial reaction might be a knee-jerk “No way!” Perhaps you might ask for a few details, like the timeframe in which it must be completed. Regardless, upon initially hearing the challenge, you might be a little overwhelmed by the enormity of the distance. Let’s think about it differently.

What if you committed to walking 10,000 steps a day, which is roughly 5 miles, for 1,000 days? (The average American walks between 3-4,000 steps a day.) Does that change your attitude at all? This is exactly what a man did in my town during the pandemic. Since there was not much else that he could do in the early days of the pandemic, this man started walking daily and found that he was consistently logging 10,000 steps. He made a goal to keep doing that through Christmas of 2020, and then just kept going. Almost three years later, he is closing in on his 1,000^th day and his goal. What if I told you that he was seventy years old when he started this regimen? Does that make the challenge seem more plausible?

Perspective is key. Looking at something in a novel or unique way can sometimes be the difference between success and failure. Think about a dream that you have and challenge yourself to take one small step towards fulfilling it today. Then, take another step and so on. Your journey of a thousand miles will be well under way and that dream that may have initially seemed unattainable might just be within your reach.